My self-imposed hibernation has given me a lot of time to think. I’ve come to the conclusion that Joker and I are not dating. I was temporarily delusional to think so. First off I am in no position to anybodies girlfriend. I have bigger things to deal with; dealing with a needy man is just not in the cards right now.
Second, I met Joker right in the middle of my ‘year without men’ phase. I was weak and quickly abandoned my year goal, pathetic. He came in and charmed the green boa right off me, with no pressure mind you. After the string of crappy guys I had been dealing with he was just refreshing.
Third, if I were ‘available’ to date, Joker does not possess some necessary boyfriend requirements. Let me just say, Joker is cute, witty, easy to talk to and way different from my past beaus. However, it’s always stuck in my mind that he never actually said the words ‘this is my girlfriend or yes we’re dating’. Understand this dating thing I let someone plant in my head after one too many Gin and tonics. My initial plan was that there was no need to establish a ‘relationship’. Just enjoy the weekends we spend together no strings, no complications, no big deal.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, there are some things that I require in a boyfriend that Joker do. Like make a big deal about my birthday, call send flowers make some jester. Or being that we live far apart do not cancel my planned visit a) by text and b) without an apology and serious explanation.
In light of all this I conclude we are not dating. We just happen to enjoy each other’s company when we happen to be together. Hence forth if anyone asks I will say ‘no we’re not dating’. How will Joker feel about this? Eh, this is about me deserving more, expecting more and getting more. This is not about him.