I hate feeling bad. But it is all I seem to do lately. I feel bad and try to keep myself from falling apart at the seams. Everything is just bad for me. Even worst everyone around me seems to be fine and/or super great. I’m usually happy for other peoples happiness but lately their happiness just makes me wonder why my life is in the crapper.
I started reading this one girls blog about three years ago. Instantly I like her, her writing style, her personality, her have fun party girl life style. You just wanted to be her friend. I did. Anyway after a while her site was done. Later I stumbled upon a new site she was writing on. In the last years she has met a guy got married, moved to a warm place and is about to have a baby! OMG. In the same amount of time I’ve been majorly dumped, moved to a colder place, gone into major debt and question my current relationship on an hourly basis.
Sitting here at my desk at work, I am almost on the verge of tears. How can my life suck so badly. What did I do that I deserve such a crappy life. It’s killing me. Is it too much to ask that I just have a simple normal life? Meet a guy that loves truly and want to be with me always, me live together in a modest home, apartment even. We both work our jobs that make us just enough to pay the bills, save and take one trip a year.
I’m not asking to be a stay at home mom, in a big house and a Lexus. I’m not asking for a fancy job with a three-figure salary. I’m not asking for a Brad Pitt husband. I’m so tired. Tried of wishing, hoping, praying, being alone, and crying. I so tired.